All this time, something has been brewing down south, and now it's starting to bubble over...

OK, I'm done... Now I gotta talk about this band called the Melters:

Formed while the original members were still in junior high, the Melters have never lost their childlike charm, and their desire to abuse the listener and play with one's patience. When they finally felt good enough to start performing live, they began terrorizing the South with their clumsy and energetic performances. They leave their audiences confused, angry, laughing, yet refreshed and wanting more beer and possibly some sedatives.

The Josh White on drums, M. Martin on bass guitar, and taking care of guitar and lead vocals, Nameless.

The Melters' main objective to to have fun and their music shows it: messy guitars chiming around the solid melodies and ripping through your ears; punchy and straightforward bass attacking and bumping around all over the place, providing the songs' backbone, and occasionally showing moments of harmonic expressiveness (as heard on "Neato," the title track of their first record); and hyperkinetic short-attention-span drumming driving the beat.

The songs won't leave your head once they make their way into your brain, burrow, and set up shop there.

The Melters' debut album title, "Neato," silly and to-the-point, perfectly suits what you will hear: short, sloppy, sparkling pop songs, all played with speed-of-light intensity and rabid hyperactive enthusiasm, and topped with what's severely lacking in rock 'n' roll these days: a sense of humor... and violence! Can't forget violence! Oh, there's some... there's some.

- Dr. Merlin Beetledorp
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